Marrymemories: A Look Back at Weddings
Once upon a time, long ago, there was a wedding officiant in the country who gave every couple a unique, personalized wedding ceremony. So that these newlyweds can still reminisce about their special day today, here are some excerpts from those personalized speeches.
A bride and groom who cause more chaos and antics than Pippi Longstocking:
But your time together back then also had plenty of funny moments.
Everything you forbid your kids to do, you happily do yourselves in secret: belting out songs at the top of your lungs in the car while laughing your heads off, running around the house like a Durax bunny, jumping on your partner like a squirrel monkey, pulling wild faces like Pippi Longstocking, and goofing around until the kids get home from school.
A couple who not only love *Jurassic Park*, but also their Thermomix.
Here’s Part 1 of the wedding speech:
But even better than cleaning up or grilling at home is cooking together with your good, faithful friend Thermi! Your Thermomix. Your kitchen tool with personality—which, by the way, is also Thermomix’s slogan. In any case, you’ve truly welcomed Thermi into your home with open arms—especially you, Rike, who’ve shown your motherly care in the process. You’ve always spoiled Thermi with delicious ingredients inspired by Palestinian, North German, or Mediterranean cuisine.
Here’s Part 2 of the wedding speech: By the way, your latest cooking tip is the delicious currywurst with curry sauce à la Sansibar—the tastiest curry sauce you can enjoy with any kind of sausage. I watched the detailed Thermomix recipe tutorial on YouTube by the YouTuber “Meine verrückte Welt.” Sascha and Rike, I’ll send you the link later—I think you’ll find it just as entertaining as I did… As a little teamwork challenge, the two of you get to list all the ingredients for the Sansibar curry sauce that go into the Thermomix!
But even better than cleaning up or grilling at home is cooking together with your good, faithful friend Thermi! Your Thermomix. Your kitchen tool with personality—which, by the way, is also Thermomix’s slogan. In any case, you’ve truly welcomed Thermi into your home with open arms—especially you, Rike, who’ve shown your motherly care in the process. You’ve always spoiled Thermi with delicious ingredients inspired by Palestinian, North German, or Mediterranean cuisine.
Here’s Part 2 of the wedding speech: By the way, your latest cooking tip is the delicious currywurst with curry sauce à la Sansibar—the tastiest curry sauce you can enjoy with any kind of sausage. I watched the detailed Thermomix recipe tutorial on YouTube by the YouTuber “Meine verrückte Welt.” Sascha and Rike, I’ll send you the link later—I think you’ll find it just as entertaining as I did… As a little teamwork challenge, the two of you get to list all the ingredients for the Sansibar curry sauce that go into the Thermomix!
A bride and groom who were drawn to each other like two magnets from the very beginning.
So there was a visual attraction—and, of course, a physical one too—which is why it didn’t take long for the first kiss to happen.
And as you surely know: All good things come in threes.
That’s why, on the third date, there was also a passionate kiss. From there, your dates smoothly transitioned into a committed relationship.
Dear groom, you knew relatively early on that he was the one you wanted to marry—provided he continued to do just as well in the relationship over the next few years. And even though the two of you get along so incredibly well, you’re actually very different:
While one of you likes to play the piano melodically, the other likes to pop corks and crack open bottles of Cremont. And it’s precisely these many different qualities that create this incredibly strong attraction, which holds you two together like two magnets. As you yourself said, dear groom: “Love is a strong feeling of being drawn to someone.”
A bride and groom who eloped together:
And here I am with you on the beach—here’s
Part 1 of the wedding speech:
And like so many surprises in your lives, today’s wedding ceremony was also something unexpected. An event neither of you expected anymore. And yet here we are, in this special spot on the beach, to seal your union—without 165 wedding guests, without contracts, without a church, without a civil ceremony—as a symbol of your togetherness. The wedding ceremony you want to experience as a unique, special moment just the two of you, to be remembered forever.
Here’s Part 2 of the wedding speech:
Years may come and go, the age on your ID may increase—and yet you won’t grow any older. Because in your hearts, you’ve remained young, still acting a little recklessly at times and always up for a good time. Laughter is definitely guaranteed with you two—it’s like a season pass. With no expiration date.
Part 1 of the wedding speech:
And like so many surprises in your lives, today’s wedding ceremony was also something unexpected. An event neither of you expected anymore. And yet here we are, in this special spot on the beach, to seal your union—without 165 wedding guests, without contracts, without a church, without a civil ceremony—as a symbol of your togetherness. The wedding ceremony you want to experience as a unique, special moment just the two of you, to be remembered forever.
Here’s Part 2 of the wedding speech:
Years may come and go, the age on your ID may increase—and yet you won’t grow any older. Because in your hearts, you’ve remained young, still acting a little recklessly at times and always up for a good time. Laughter is definitely guaranteed with you two—it’s like a season pass. With no expiration date.
A couple who have not only built a life together but also started their own business.
When it comes to love, luckily you both know which “language of love” your partner speaks. Marouan appreciates thoughtfulness in the form of small gestures like cooking. Celina appreciates the personal gifts Marouan gives her. Speaking of which: Marouan, you’ve decided to surprise Celina with flowers once a month starting now. By the way, as of today, that’s your guarantee that your 5-year deal with Celina won’t fall through! You surely remember exactly when you finally “closed the deal” with Celina. You’ve also developed a whole new way of walking, which has caught the eye not only of Celina but also of your coworkers. Much like lobsters, which grow larger and puff out their chests after winning a fight due to an increased release of serotonin in the brain, you, too, have adopted a proud, chest-out stride since you “closed” Celina.
You said it yourself: Before, you were just a boy, but now you’ve finally become a man. Ever since you closed the deal, people have recognized you by your proud stride. That’s why you now get to show off your “Billionaire Walk” in front of the whole team and strut your stuff right here. Kuba, turn up the music; dear guests, give a big round of applause: Clear the stage for Marouan and his proud stride.
A bride and groom soaring through the air, filled with joy. And not just while kitesurfing…
Once your vacation to Sylt was finally planned, you both wanted to find a new hobby to enjoy together. The idea definitely came from you, Maya, right?
KITE SURFING. For Cem, the wakeboarding pro, that was no problem at all, of course! ...he’d already done countless runs at the wakeboard facility and had casually waved to the slightly nervous Maya at the edge of the pool—riding with a big grin and one arm free—while using his free hand to wave. At least Maya was able to gain a little more confidence by water-skiing a few times—even with shaky knees—and brave the gusts of wind. With that, Maya had truly earned some relaxed movie and TV series nights with her Cem, snuggled up comfortably on the sofa. For the rest of her life.
KITE SURFING. For Cem, the wakeboarding pro, that was no problem at all, of course! ...he’d already done countless runs at the wakeboard facility and had casually waved to the slightly nervous Maya at the edge of the pool—riding with a big grin and one arm free—while using his free hand to wave. At least Maya was able to gain a little more confidence by water-skiing a few times—even with shaky knees—and brave the gusts of wind. With that, Maya had truly earned some relaxed movie and TV series nights with her Cem, snuggled up comfortably on the sofa. For the rest of her life.
A bride and groom under cross-examination:
Today, I’ll be taking on the role of judge for you, specializing in marriage ceremonies.
So I’d like to ask everyone to take their seats so we can begin the proceedings. But don’t worry, dear bride and groom—this won’t be a cross-examination! Let’s now move on to the *Examen Testium*—the examination of the witnesses. According to statements from former classmates, your first in-person meeting is said to have taken place at a department gathering at the university. Furthermore, during your professional relationship, personal meetings are said to have occurred in coram publicum—outside of work hours. So your law degree has rewarded you not only with a good job but also with a partner for life.
A bride and groom who set off on a high-speed wedding race:
Now let’s all get together and kick off today’s wedding race, which—we promise, dear spectators—will be just as fast-paced and exciting as every single autocross race our bride and groom have ever competed in.
Dear bride and groom, we’re really going to get you revved up. Now let’s move on to the starting grid for today’s wedding race.
It’s great to see you’ve taken your starting positions right at the front of the starting line. Fortunately, you haven’t had a single false start together on your shared racetrack as a couple. You took off smoothly in first gear and grew closer during a shot-drinking sprint.
Dear bride and groom, we’re really going to get you revved up. Now let’s move on to the starting grid for today’s wedding race.
It’s great to see you’ve taken your starting positions right at the front of the starting line. Fortunately, you haven’t had a single false start together on your shared racetrack as a couple. You took off smoothly in first gear and grew closer during a shot-drinking sprint.
A bride and groom whose future is being reshuffled with playing cards.
Part 1: Wedding Speech Immediately After the Procession:
“Are you ready for us to reshuffle the cards of your future together?”
Don’t worry, I have only the best cards in my hand for you. A few “love cards,” like the 10 of Hearts, that will give your relationship wings. And a few aces up my sleeve, so you’ll be prepared for tough times.
Look forward to every move you’ll make together in life.
Because life itself is like a card game. In some phases of life, you win; in others, you lose.
And so fate has dealt you, dear groom, a very good hand and finally let you win big again in 2020. You’ve been dealt the perfect partner—the most beautiful queen of hearts you could ever have imagined.
Part 2 of the wedding speech, addressed to the groom:
But it’s not just that which plays perfectly into the groom’s hands—it’s also the hand of cards he holds, ready to be played. While the groom tends to adopt a rather impulsive, fast-paced playing strategy, our bride is known for mulling things over back and forth for so long that, more often than not… no decision can be made at all.
With one exception: deciding after just a short time—to move in with her sweetheart after only a few months.
The only thing our bride didn’t know until moving day: that her sweetheart absolutely wanted to let his closest friend—who he’s still very attached to to this day—move in with them. You surely know which “CLUB-bing” friend I’m talking about here: No, not the HSV. His XBOX, of course!
Part 3 of the wedding speech: The Most Charming Quirks of Our Bride and Groom
SHE: Laura may be a hero when it comes to the arts of laundry and cooking, but she’s not exactly an expert on how to use radiators properly. While Laura cranks the heat up to full blast on colder days, Jacob is busy dashing through the entire apartment, closing all the windows and doors that Laura left open. She’s almost certainly just forgotten again because her mind was elsewhere—probably already thinking about working out.
HE: The vexing sock issue. Jacob and socks have been at odds since he was a kid. Not even our dear Laura’s most earnest lectures on the importance of socks can help anymore. Whether Jacob will ever learn in this lifetime to turn all his socks inside out will likely remain an unsolved sock mystery forever.
“Are you ready for us to reshuffle the cards of your future together?”
Don’t worry, I have only the best cards in my hand for you. A few “love cards,” like the 10 of Hearts, that will give your relationship wings. And a few aces up my sleeve, so you’ll be prepared for tough times.
Look forward to every move you’ll make together in life.
Because life itself is like a card game. In some phases of life, you win; in others, you lose.
And so fate has dealt you, dear groom, a very good hand and finally let you win big again in 2020. You’ve been dealt the perfect partner—the most beautiful queen of hearts you could ever have imagined.
Part 2 of the wedding speech, addressed to the groom:
But it’s not just that which plays perfectly into the groom’s hands—it’s also the hand of cards he holds, ready to be played. While the groom tends to adopt a rather impulsive, fast-paced playing strategy, our bride is known for mulling things over back and forth for so long that, more often than not… no decision can be made at all.
With one exception: deciding after just a short time—to move in with her sweetheart after only a few months.
The only thing our bride didn’t know until moving day: that her sweetheart absolutely wanted to let his closest friend—who he’s still very attached to to this day—move in with them. You surely know which “CLUB-bing” friend I’m talking about here: No, not the HSV. His XBOX, of course!
Part 3 of the wedding speech: The Most Charming Quirks of Our Bride and Groom
SHE: Laura may be a hero when it comes to the arts of laundry and cooking, but she’s not exactly an expert on how to use radiators properly. While Laura cranks the heat up to full blast on colder days, Jacob is busy dashing through the entire apartment, closing all the windows and doors that Laura left open. She’s almost certainly just forgotten again because her mind was elsewhere—probably already thinking about working out.
HE: The vexing sock issue. Jacob and socks have been at odds since he was a kid. Not even our dear Laura’s most earnest lectures on the importance of socks can help anymore. Whether Jacob will ever learn in this lifetime to turn all his socks inside out will likely remain an unsolved sock mystery forever.
A bride and groom who clicked right from the start.
Here’s Part 1 of the wedding speech, right after the couple entered the ceremony:
Dear guests, I promise you that today’s wedding ceremony will be more interesting than the lectures on “Molecular and Experimental Medicine”—the elective course that dear Ulrike and Peter took back then during the same semester of their medical studies. What you remembered most back then was the molecule C2H5OH—also known as the “Astra molecule”—which you then enjoyed in Schanzenpark amid summer, sun, sunshine, and perhaps a few plastic palm trees.
Some chemical processes just take time. The same goes for the two atoms Ul2RiK3E4 and Pe8te7r6. And because the chemistry between you was just right, a few days later the big spark of love finally ignited between you—at the Boiler Man Bar.
Since that evening, you’ve become an inseparable couple who not only share an electron chemically but—as you put it, Ulrike—also share a deep trust in one another. For you, Ulrike, “there’s no better idea than being able to share everything you experience with Peter—and vice versa.”
Here’s Part 2 of the wedding speech, addressed directly to the audience:
So, now it’s your turn, dear audience! I’ll read aloud the three “Best of Stories” from Ulrike and Peter right away. Afterward, you can vote with your applause to decide which story was the best. Ulrike and Peter, you’ll receive a little award from me afterward.
By the way, the winner at the wedding was:
Story 3 – Casa Particulares Time for a vacation! Ulrike and Peter headed off to Cuba. Beach, cigars, reggae music—what could possibly go wrong? They’d already booked their lodging: Casa Particulares—sounds like a 5-star hotel, but it just means sharing a room with the host. It can work out well, but it can also… get a little cramped. For Ulrike and Peter, the overnight stay in this case ended… in a garage. Let me correct that. In a garage with a fold-out bed. There wasn’t room for anything else. Oh, wait. A toilet. 1 meter away from the foot of the bed. With a view of… the bed. This is where they not only took their clothes off in front of each other, but also relieved themselves. Every vacationing couple’s Cuban dream.
Dear guests, I promise you that today’s wedding ceremony will be more interesting than the lectures on “Molecular and Experimental Medicine”—the elective course that dear Ulrike and Peter took back then during the same semester of their medical studies. What you remembered most back then was the molecule C2H5OH—also known as the “Astra molecule”—which you then enjoyed in Schanzenpark amid summer, sun, sunshine, and perhaps a few plastic palm trees.
Some chemical processes just take time. The same goes for the two atoms Ul2RiK3E4 and Pe8te7r6. And because the chemistry between you was just right, a few days later the big spark of love finally ignited between you—at the Boiler Man Bar.
Since that evening, you’ve become an inseparable couple who not only share an electron chemically but—as you put it, Ulrike—also share a deep trust in one another. For you, Ulrike, “there’s no better idea than being able to share everything you experience with Peter—and vice versa.”
Here’s Part 2 of the wedding speech, addressed directly to the audience:
So, now it’s your turn, dear audience! I’ll read aloud the three “Best of Stories” from Ulrike and Peter right away. Afterward, you can vote with your applause to decide which story was the best. Ulrike and Peter, you’ll receive a little award from me afterward.
By the way, the winner at the wedding was:
Story 3 – Casa Particulares Time for a vacation! Ulrike and Peter headed off to Cuba. Beach, cigars, reggae music—what could possibly go wrong? They’d already booked their lodging: Casa Particulares—sounds like a 5-star hotel, but it just means sharing a room with the host. It can work out well, but it can also… get a little cramped. For Ulrike and Peter, the overnight stay in this case ended… in a garage. Let me correct that. In a garage with a fold-out bed. There wasn’t room for anything else. Oh, wait. A toilet. 1 meter away from the foot of the bed. With a view of… the bed. This is where they not only took their clothes off in front of each other, but also relieved themselves. Every vacationing couple’s Cuban dream.
A bride and groom for whom the way to the heart is through the stomach.
Appetizer
Since “the way to a person’s heart is through their stomach,” I’d like to start right away with a three-course meal and present today’s appetizer, which I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for with rumbling stomachs. It was served by our Edeka supplier in a light blue box, to be handed directly to our bride at Schokokontor Bergedorf.
Main Course
It wasn’t until half a year later that the long-awaited main course of the three-course meal finally arrived. And when love sets the table, the food tastes best. At least for our bride… Our groom was sitting across from her without a plate and ordered... ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to eat. Either he needed to save money, or being in love had given him too many butterflies in his stomach
Dessert
And after this climax of love and emotion, of unique moments, we finally come to the grand finale of our three-course menu: The dessert, whose ingredients—just like the two of you—couldn’t be more different. But it’s precisely because of these contrasting components that this dessert becomes an unforgettable experience you’ll want to savor forever. Just as you can’t quite explain why it tastes so delicious, so it is with love. Because love is the language of the heart, not of the mind. Love is who we are.
Since “the way to a person’s heart is through their stomach,” I’d like to start right away with a three-course meal and present today’s appetizer, which I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for with rumbling stomachs. It was served by our Edeka supplier in a light blue box, to be handed directly to our bride at Schokokontor Bergedorf.
Main Course
It wasn’t until half a year later that the long-awaited main course of the three-course meal finally arrived. And when love sets the table, the food tastes best. At least for our bride… Our groom was sitting across from her without a plate and ordered... ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to eat. Either he needed to save money, or being in love had given him too many butterflies in his stomach
Dessert
And after this climax of love and emotion, of unique moments, we finally come to the grand finale of our three-course menu: The dessert, whose ingredients—just like the two of you—couldn’t be more different. But it’s precisely because of these contrasting components that this dessert becomes an unforgettable experience you’ll want to savor forever. Just as you can’t quite explain why it tastes so delicious, so it is with love. Because love is the language of the heart, not of the mind. Love is who we are.